June Cleaver & the Modern Mommy

I loved watching Leave It To Beaver as a child.  It seemed like such a peaceful way of being.  June Cleaver was a truly remarkable woman:  She reared 2 boys who, while they got into their fair share of scrapes, were generally respectful, kind and fun to be with.  Her house was immaculate; Dust Bunnies Union Chapter 114- duck & cover!  She always had a nice hot meal ready for her family, and, the real wonder of wonders, she was always the picture of perfection:  Perfect figure (no telling THAT mommy had birthed two boys), perfect hair (how do you manage to do the housework & keep away the frizzies??), flawless skin (does the woman bathe in milk & honey?), and always a perfect answer to any question, whether from her husband or her children.  Yes… June Cleaver was my hero as a child.   My perspective as an adult is somewhat … different…

Now… don’t get me wrong, in some ways, I do June Cleaver proud.  I am a pretty darn good cook, and my family does eat a home-cooked meal most nights.  I adore my children, and am managing to rear two well-adjusted, generally respectful, kind and fun to be with kids.  That, however, is where the similarities end! 

In the world of this “Modern Mommy”, things are a bit different.  Here’s a sketch of a typical day:

5am-Mommy & Daddy rise, Coffee & Cereal

5:15- Daddy Shower, Mommy packs lunches

5:30- Mommy Shower , Hair

6:00- Wake kids; dress little guy, get breakfast for kids, turn on cartoons & hope they eat.

6:15- Iron Clothes, Remind 4yr old to eat for 1^st time, Daddy helps little guy eat, lay out clothes for 4 yr old

6:30- Remind 4yr old to eat for 2^nd time, Make-up, Dress, Daddy wipes faces & brushes 4yr old’s hair, 4yr old gets dressed

6:45- Daddy leaves for work , put breakfast dishes in the sink, Shoes & Coats for both kids, make sure we remembered to brush teeth- brush if needed, Start car, load kids in car, laptop, purse, coat for Mommy

7:00- Leave(Hopefully)

7:15- Drop kids at school, Commute

8:00- Arrive at work.

5:00pm- Leave Work.

5:45- Pick up kids

6:00- Arrive home, Jackets & Shoes put away, Start Dinner,

And this is where there is a total break-down in the sanity of the day.  By 6pm, my two darling, amazing children are tired, hungry, and beginning to transition from sweet baby humans into some other-worldly form of beast that thrives on screaming, running, and various forms of chaotic destruction!  Provided, however, that the destruction is mild, and easily remedied by a quick clean-up sweep at the end of the night, Mommy allows them to play on while I finish making dinner.

6:45- Dinner. 

A miraculous thing happens at dinnertime.  I walk from the kitchen into the living room, and make the announcement, “Okay guys.  Dinner is ready; B- please go wash your hands.”  The beasts transform back into the sweet, small humans!!  The house gets quiet, and everyone does what they are supposed to do!!  Oh!  Dinner!  What a wonderful thing you are!  We eat.  We talk.  We laugh.  We may even call an unsuspecting grandparent, aunt, uncle, friend, or Daddy (who is at school); just to say hello.  Oh, those blissful 20-30 minutes.  Then… dinner is over, announced by the daily question, “Mommy, may I be excused?”  “Yes, B, you may.  Please take your plate to the sink.”  As soon as the little guy finishes his meal, and is freed of the constraints of his high chair, the beasts return; raging through the house with noise similar to a herd of water buffalo! 

Depending on the day, and- frankly- the amount of patience Mommy has, playtime will usually continue for a while.  The Monsters, my affectionate name for them, have a grand time together, and I am immensely pleased that they like to play together; even if it does mean I need to keep a constant supply of foam ear plugs.  On particularly bad days, days when more blocks are thrown than stacked & there is an unusually high level of destruction, this immediately becomes bath time (Mommy’s theory- Baby Monsters only get this destructive when they are either tired or sick), with bedtime shortly on its heels! 

8:30pm-  Bedtime.  Books, prayers, kisses, drinks of water & lullabies playing.  Babies go to sleep. 

9:00- Change out of work clothes (finally) & put on lounge pants & a t-shirt; hair in a ponytail, clean up kitchen, pick up toys, other chores, maybe put something in the crock pot to make tomorrow night easier.

9:45- Take out dog, work out or Mommy Time

10:45- Daddy home, Watch TV with Daddy

11:30- Bed, sleep & do it again!

WHEW!!!!    I guarantee that, after a full day at the office & then at home, I in no way resemble the impeccable June Cleaver!  I do not greet my husband in a dress & heels when he comes home, my hair is thrown in a ponytail with the little “baby hairs” in the front curling and frizzing madly from standing over the steaming water from baths and dishes, and, while toys generally get put away to avoid injury, my house doesn’t see a dust cloth more than once a week (sorry June)!     Yeah… it would be nice to have everything “spit-spot”, but perfection has never been my strong suit.  It may be a little corner of insanity, but it is MY corner of insanity; complete with baby giggles & a barking dog.  I wouldn’t trade it for the world!